Saturday, 28 July 2012

28/7 Pastafarians Denounce Anti Bullying Programmes in Public Schools.

Monsenior Captain Ridi Culous, founder of The Boulder Colorado Fundamentalist Navy of Pastafarian Piracy, has declared war on Anti Bullying programs. “Arrrgh! Ye be an abomination.” he said today.
This makes fundamentalist Pastafarians the newest in a growing number of religious groups claiming that anti-bullying programs curb the religious freedom of students and pupils in public school.
“'Tis our freedom to honour our Flying Spaghetti monster, we be fightin' for! Arrrr”
Asked what he thought of Christian groups also opposed to anti-bullying programmes he responded “The scurvy dogs be talkin' sense, these anti-bullying programmes mean our wee pirate ragamuffins can't be free to excise their right to keel-haul brigands an' infidels”. When asked about his use of the term “keel-haul” he explained “Aye, Since we don't have a lot of keels around here, we ceremonially place the brigands head in a toilet bowl and flush.” We put it to Culous that a number schools administrators and parents had criticised the practise as "barbaric" and "had no place in civil society" and his response was "Lookie here, it is just a bit of fun for the wee ones and it affirms theirs faith in our beloved Flying Spaghetti Monster, nobody gets hurt, at least no one that really counts."
When asked who is usually “keel-hauled”, “Them that cross us, or our beloved Flying Spaghetti Monster. Often homophobic Christians, who have no concept of the rigours of a long voyage at sea. Or Climate change denialists, It is a matter of our faith that climate change is real, and man made. Through the persecution pirates, our numbers have dwindled over centuries, and this has angered our beloved Flying Spaghetti Monster who has changed the climate to show his displeasure. We hold that we must punish the persecutors our beloved Flying Spaghetti Monster's chosen people.”
On contacting the official Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, a spokesperson said “We do not believe Mr Ridi Culous represents main stream Pastafarianism”

Just having a laugh - what do you think?